The Hostile Takeover of Brotherly Paradise
by BranwenOSV
Summary: Jin's favorite island has been taken over by Ruby, who plans to turn it into Bestie Paradise! Can the cold-hearted Major take back the island from the annoying kawaii huntress? Will Ragna and Weiss wish they were dead? Will the fourth wall cease to exist?


A bright sunny sky, a cool breeze, and a beautiful white sandy beach on a private island. These were the things that would bring joy to just about anyone, but not for the hardened Major of the Novus Orbis Librarium, Jin Kisaragi. There was only one thing that ever gave Jin joy in his life: attempting to kill his older brother, Ragna The Bloodedge. Oddly enough, that's what brought him to the island, for the island was alive itself and gave Jin the strange ability to conjure his thoughts into reality. By constantly conjuring Ragna into existence on the island, the once private island would become known worldwide as Brotherly Paradise.

Today, Jin was in a worse mood than ever, having to participate in the Keystone Scramble Tag Battle Tournament, and he was going to let out his frustrations on Ragna repeatedly.

"Hello, Jin!" greeted the Islander. "Long time no see!"

"Can the introductions!" said Jin, stomping on the island's weak spot on the beach.

"OOOW! Oh, I wish you would just greet me normally for once!"

"I'm not in a good mood after that whole Keystone nonsense! Now, bring forth my brother so I can vent out my frustrations!"

"Yeah, about that. There's something I need to tell you-" Jin gave the talking island no time to explain himself, stomping on his weak spot yet again. "OW! Don't you know how much that hurts, Jin?"

"I don't have time for your crap today, island! Bring out my brother so I can kill him over and over!"

"Siiiigh...if you insist..."

In a flash, Ragna The Bloodedge appeared in front of Jin. Just the sight of Ragna alone was enough to get Jin's heart racing, eagerly to start maiming his most hated enemy in thousands of ways.

"Hello, BROTHER!" greeted Jin.

"Hey Jin," said Ragna. "I see you're as excited to kill me as ever."

"How can I NOT be excited when..." Jin's excitement quickly mellowed out when he felt something off about the way Ragna greeted him. "Hold on a minute. Could you repeat that?"

"Repeat what?"

"Repeat the first thing you said to me!"

"Uh...hey Jin?" Hearing the way Ragna greeted him was causing Jin's blood to boil.

"NO NO NO!" yelled Jin. "This isn't right at all! 'Hey, Jin'? What kind of greeting is that?!"

"I dunno," said Ragna. "Casual and nonchalant?"

"Where's the animosity? Where's the angry expression you always get when I show up?!"

Knowing it had to be the island's doing, Jin immediately stomped on the island's weak spot over and over.

"OW OW OW OW!" screamed Islander. "What was all that for?!"

"You think this is funny?" asked Jin. "Is this some kind of rankings of 'Things Jin Kisaragi is Not in The Mood for Putting Up With?' Bring me the right Ragna this instant!"

"I'm afraid that's not going to happen," said a voice neither Jin or Ragna were familiar with. Jin and Ragna turned to see the ice queen from the red Keystone's world, Weiss Schnee, appear on the island. Weiss had her arms folded and didn't look like she appreciated being on the island.

"Who are you?" said Jin. "I don't recall you ever being in my thoughts!"

"That's because I'm not," said Weiss.

"Then begone with you!" Jin waited for Weiss to explode and be expelled from the island, but Weiss remained where she was. "What the hell? You should have exploded by now!"

"Has he seriously not figured it out by now?" asked Weiss.

"My brother could be pretty thick at times," said Ragna.

"What are you talking about?" said Jin. "How are you still here? Why is my brother acting so calm? What has happened to my Brotherly Paradise?!"

"It's not Brotherly Paradise anymore, Jin Kisaragi!" said a loud voice nearby.

Out from the shadows came the red-hooded huntress, jumping in and taking center stage.

"For I, Ruby Rose, have taken over this island, which henceforth shall now be known as...Bestie Paradise!"

"YOU!" yelled Jin. "I remember you! You were that screeching harpy in the tournament that left trails of rose petals everywhere!"

"You remember her but not me?" asked Weiss.

"You should be grateful, trust me," replied Ragna.

"Bestie Paradise?" said Jin, sounding disgusted by having to utter the word 'Bestie.' "What kind of inane concept is that?"

"It's an island dedicated to my bestie, of course!" said Ruby, wrapping one arm around Weiss.

"We are NOT besties," replied Weiss, removing Ruby's arm from her shoulder.

"So, you think you can just come into MY world and take over MY island?" said Jin. "I think not!"

Jin took out his Yukianesa and used his Drive to cover the island in ice, only for the ice to never appear as it should have.

"What the...my Yukianesa didn't work!"

"Sorry Jin," said Ruby, "but the first rule of Bestie Paradise is all violence is outlawed!"

"All right, what rankings is this now? Worst April Fools Jokes to Play on Jin Kisaragi?"

"It's not a joke, Jin," said Ragna. "This island is now the property of Ruby Rose."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you!" said the Islander. "Under Ruby's control, anyone thought up here are treated as friends who can't be harmed!"

"And you're not bothered by this idiot owning the island now, brother?!" asked Jin.

"Not really," said Ragna. "Instead of being tortured by your obsession to kill me, I'm tortured by this geek about loving my weapon."

"Be glad that's the only thing she bothers you about," said Weiss.

"How could you give control of this island to her?" yelled Jin, stomping on the beach over and over.

"If you'd stop beating me up I'd tell you!" whined Islander, hating the torture Jin was putting them through. "She bought the island, fair and square!"

"She bought it?!"

"You bought it?" asked Weiss. "Where did you even get the money for it?"

"From all my winnings in the Keystone Tag Tournament!" said Ruby. "Me and Gordeau really cut down the competition and made out like bandits!"

"Oh, right. The tournament where you snubbed me as a partner...you're so called BESTIE."

"It's not my fault you were lacking a good neutral game."

"What the heck is 'neutral game,' and how am I lacking it?"

"I want to know how this island was for sale in the first place!" said Jin.

"I want to know since when was that tournament awarding cash prizes," said Ragna.

"I'm confused as to why this island still exists," said Weiss. "Didn't this island completely melt away along with Jin the last time?"

"It did," said Ragna, "but it doesn't actually matter."

"Huh? What does that mean?"

"This situation that we're in? This is what we call a 'Gag Scenario', or 'Non-Canon.' So, whatever happens here doesn't really affect anything about us."

"Um...I still don't quite understand."

"How can I explain this? It's like...you ever heard of fan fiction?"

"You mean those poorly written stories people write of characters acting nothing like they do in real life?"

"Yeah! Think of this whole scenario as being that: A poorly written fan fiction!"

"Cannons or no cannons," said Ruby, "the point is this island belongs to me! Bestie Paradise will be an island for those who want to be supported by their loved ones! All haters will instantly be cast out!"

"ENOUGH!" yelled Jin. "I refuse to let this island fall into the hands of such an overly saccharine pest like you!"

Jin unsheathed his Yukianesa and pointed it at his new arch-nemesis.

"Ruby Rose! I challenge you for the full rights and ownership to the island!"

"Very well!" said Ruby. "I accept your challenge, Jin Kisaragi!"

"But I thought violence was outlawed on this island," said Ragna. "How are you two going to battle then?"

"It won't be some fisticuffs battle!" said Jin. "Our battle will be...a RANKINGS BATTLE!"

"A Rankings Battle it is!" said Ruby. "I wouldn't have it any other way!"

"What the heck is a Rankings Battle?" asked Weiss.

"Allow me to explain!" said the Islander. "Ruby and Jin will come up with a Rankings List and will compare the lists item by item! Whoever makes the more compelling case for their ranked item gets a point! Best out of five wins and will gain control of the island!"

"For this Rankings Battle," said Jin, "I shall give you my Rankings of Reasons to Kill Ragna!"

"And I shall give you my Rankings of Reasons to Love Weiss!" exclaimed Ruby.

"That doesn't make any sense!" said Weiss. "Shouldn't you both have the same list?!"

"And I will serve as the impartial judge!" announced the Islander. "Jin Kisaragi versus Ruby Rose! Let the Rankings Battle...COMMENCE!"

"As the owner of this island," said Ruby, "I shall present my argument first! YAAAAAAH-"

"Time out!" said Ragna.

"What for?" asked Ruby.

"Could we please for the love of God skip the screaming parts? I don't think my eardrums can handle it."

"Oh, come on, my voice isn't THAT loud, right Weiss?"

"It actually is," said Weiss.

"As much as I hate to break Rankings Battle tradition," said Jin, "I agree. We shall skip the screaming portion."

"Tch, fine!" said Ruby. "No more screaming. Anyway, here's my fifth-place entry!"

Another form of Weiss appeared in front of the island's habitants. This new Weiss smiled and presented Ruby with a warm cup of coffee.

"Here you go, Ruby!" said 'Weiss.' "A coffee with cream and five sugars, just the way you like it!"

"Why, thank you Weiss!" said Ruby. "You always make the best coffee! That's why you're such a good teammate!"

"Nothing less would be good enough for my bestest friend!" said 'Weiss', beaming a bright smile before vanishing.

"'Bestest' is not a real word!" said the real Weiss.

"Five sugars?" said Jin. "No wonder this girl is always so hyperactive and annoying!"

"And you allow this?" asked Ragna.

"Well...I am her best teammate after all," said Weiss. "If she desires that much in her coffee, who am I to judge?"

"What kind of teammate sets their partner on the path to diabetes?" asked Jin.

"A great one!" proclaimed Ruby.

"Ruby, just...just no," said Weiss, mortified by the dunce's defense.

"Terrible nutrition aside," said Jin, "it's time for my fifth-place entry!"

A second Ragna appeared before the audience, along with Noel Vermillion holding a plate of something that was assumed to be food.

"Here, Ragna!" said 'Noel.' "I cooked you this delicious bowl of curry for you because you looked so hungry!"

"Hell no!" said 'Ragna.' "Your food is terrible, you worthless excuse of a sister! I'd rather die at the hands of Jin than at your cooking!"

While Ragna and Weiss cringed at the melodramatic acting, Ruby was nearly brought to tears by how heartless Ragna came off.

"You hate your own sister's cooking?" asked Ruby. "How could you be so cruel?"

"First of all," said Ragna, "Noel isn't my sister! ...well, kind of, but second, NOBODY likes her cooking! Her curry has been infamously referred to as a 'Death Dinner'!"

"And I don't think curry is made out of metal," said Weiss, looking at Noel's plate of...something. "Please tell me her cooking doesn't actually look like that."

"Horrible or not," said Jin, "you should be supportive of your family regardless of their lack of cooking skills!"

"All right, Jin," said Ragna. "If you think it isn't so bad, have some of it yourself."

"I would be honored, Major!" said the made-up Noel, presenting Jin with the curry of death. Just the smell alone was enough to poison Jin's lungs.

"Wh-Why should I?" said Jin. "I'm not the one on trial here!"

"She's your sort-of-but-not-really sister too," said Ragna. "Prove me wrong, Jin!"

Not wanting to throw his life away during the Rankings Battle, Jin instead caused the other Ragna and Noel to disappear from the island.

"Dammit!" said Jin. "Done in by my own hatred of that worthless waste of space!"

"I'll take that as a forfeit!" said the Islander. "First point goes to Ruby!"

"Ah ha ha!" said Ruby. "I've taken the early lead! They say those who get the first hit in usually wins!"

"Nobody says that," remarked Weiss.

"An early lead means nothing!" said Jin. "I will simply sweep the next three and take back what belongs to me!"

"You know technically," said Ragna, "this island never actually belonged to you in the first place."

"Semantics, brother!"

"Now for my fourth-place entry on why you should love Weiss!" announced Ruby.

A new Weiss appeared in front of them, her arms crossed like the real one standing next to Ruby.

"Go on!" said Ruby. "Ask her if she likes me or not!"

"Excuse me, ice queen!" said the Islander. "Is it true you really like Ruby?"

"O-o-of course I don't like her, id-idiot!" said the fake Weiss, looking mad yet red in the cheeks. "What would ever give you that idea?"

"Behold, the classic Tsundere!" said Ruby. "She's too prideful to admit how much she appreciates having me as a friend!"

"I hate you so much right now," muttered the real Weiss, clutching her fist and suppressing her urge to punch Ruby in the face.

"You call that entry worthy of earning a point?" remarked Jin. "That was just cliché high school love crap! Behold MY fourth-place entry!"

A new Ragna appeared on the island, looking extremely pissed off at Jin.

"I'm sick of your shit, Jin!" said the new Ragna. "Nothing will finally give me peace of mind like killing you once and for all!"

"Oh brother!" said Jin, sounding overly excited. "Killing you will be the greatest moment of my life!"

"That's it?" said Weiss. "You complain about Ruby's argument being cliché, but then you break out your tired old argument about hating Ragna?"

"No, Weiss!" said Ruby. "I know what Jin is attempting! This is...Yandere!"

"Yandere?"

"Allow me to explain!" said the Islander. "Ragna and Jin are showing how much they care for each other through the most violent means necessary!"

"NO, I'M NOT!" said the first Ragna. "I hate my brother with all my guts! He could drop dead right now, and I'd be dancing on his corpse!"

"Oh yes, brother!" said Jin. "Keep showing me that pissed off expression of yours!"

"How about I slit your throat, so I don't have to hear this shit anymore?!" yelled the second Ragna.

"YES! YES!" said Jin, clutching his chest to contain his near-orgasmic levels of excitement. "Enough of these games! Let us fight right here and now!"

"You people make me sick," said Weiss. "Can we please just award the point to Ruby?"

"Sorry Weiss!" said the Islander. "But in this rankings encounter, I must award the point to Jin!"

"WHY?! You're telling me you enjoy this...THIS?!"

"Sorry Weiss, but Tsunderes are SOOOO 2014! It's all about Yanderes and NTR now!"

"What's an NTR?"

"You DON'T want to know!" said the first Ragna.

The additional Ragna and Weiss disappeared as Ruby bit her thumb, disappointed that she allowed her lack of keeping up with the current love trends to cause her defeat.

"All right Jin," said Ruby, "you may have gotten the best of me that time, but it won't happen again! There's no way you can top my third-place entry!"

A new Weiss appeared, this time wearing a more formal dress as she stood at attention in front of the crowd. Having cleared her throat, she began to sing her most popular song.

_Mirror, tell me something,_

_Tell me who's the loneliest of all?_

_Fear of what's inside of me;_

_Tell me can a heart be turned to stone?_

"Listen to that angelic voice!" said Ruby. "It's almost enough to make any man fall in love with her!"

"It's true," said Weiss. "I've had like three guys hitting on me just for my voice."

"Even you have to admit that Weiss' voice is enough to soothe your soul and fall head over heels for her!"

"No, not really," said Ragna. "I mean, you have a good voice, but I'm not into girls that young."

"Oh, I beg to differ!" said Jin. "You prefer your girls young, brother! REALLY young, if you know what I mean!"

"Really young?" said Ruby. "Are you saying that he's a pedo-"

"I AM NOT A PEDOPHILE!" yelled Ragna.

"My third-place entry begs to differ!" said Jin.

"Jin...you wouldn't!"

But sure enough, to Ragna's dismay, Jin conjured up the infamous magical girl that always got on Ragna's nerves, Platinum the Trinity. While looking like a little girl on the surface, she had two souls inhabiting her body: the polite boy Sena and the foul-mouthed girl Luna.

"Where are we, Luna?" asked Sena.

"How the hell should I know?" replied Luna.

"Who is she?" asked Weiss.

"This is Platinum the Trinity," said Jin, "and she has serious allegations against my brother!"

"God dammit, Jin!" said Ragna. "You seriously had to bring this stupid schizo into this?"

"Ragna, please!" said the Islander. "You can't say the S-word like that!"

"What? Stupid?"

"No, the other...never mind! We don't have time to start sensitivity training."

"Ragna's politically incorrect attitude aside," said Weiss, "is he seriously a pedophile?"

"Totally!" said Luna. "Just look at him! He has all the traits of one!"

"I think you're just overreacting, Luna," said Sena.

"You better watch out, princess!" said Luna. "He's bound to pray on a prepubescent girl such as you!"

"I'm not a prepubescent!" said Weiss. "I'm seventeen!"

"Wait, seriously? You're seventeen?"

"Of course. What would make you think otherwise?"

"Wow. It must suck to be that old and flat as a board."

"Flat as a board? What are you...?"

Weiss noticed Platinum's eyes pointing slightly downward. Weiss looked down on herself and realized what part of her body Platinum was referring to as flat, causing the ice queen to suddenly become a fire queen.

"YOU LITTLE PIECE OF GARBAGE!" screamed Weiss. Weiss tried to lunge towards Platinum, only to be held back by Ruby.

"Settle down, Weiss!" said Ruby. "She's not worth it!"

"Let me go, Ruby! Let me go so I can kill the little brat!"

"I can't let you! There is no killing allowed in Bestie Paradise!"

"Look what you did, Luna!" moaned Sena. "Apologize!"

"For what?" said Luna. "It's not my fault her chest is a dismal pair of A's."

"How about I stick my FOOT in YOUR A?!" screamed Weiss.

"I've made my point," said Jin. "With these kinds of allegations against my brother, how could you not want to kill him?"

"They're not even true!" said Ragna.

"We can't prove it," said the Islander, "but I don't want to risk coming off as a pedo defender, so point goes to Jin."

"Are you kidding me?! You're just going to take her word for it and that's that?"

"It's not my fault you pray on little girls, pedophile!" said Luna.

"Call me that one more time!" yelled Ragna, grabbing a hold of his Bloodedge. "I DARE YOU!"

"There will be no need for that," said Jin. "I've taken the lead! Begone, brat!"

Before Platinum can goad Ragna and Weiss further, she quickly vanished from the island, but it didn't calm down either of the white-haired warriors.

"NO!" shouted Weiss. "Bring her back! I'll show her what it means to be flat!"

"I'll never forgive you for this, Jin!" said Ragna. "I swear if you win, the real me is going to come here to kill you!"

"That's so sweet of you, brother!" beamed Jin.

"Not if I make the amazing comeback!" said Ruby. "Presenting my second-place entry for Weiss!"

Another Weiss appeared on the island, only she was now accompanied by another woman who seemed to look like an older, serious version of Weiss and held her hands behind her back. As soon as Weiss saw where Ruby was going with this, her face turned beat red.

"Ruby, no!" said the real Weiss.

"Who's that supposed to be?" asked Ragna.

"That's Weiss' older sister, Winter!" said Ruby. "Now watch as things unfold!"

"Can't you stay but a little longer, Winter?" asked the second Weiss.

"I'm sorry, Weiss," said Winter. "But I'm a very busy woman. We must part ways once again."

Winter did a 180 and walked off to eventually disappear from the island, causing the other Weiss to look crestfallen at seeing her sister leave once again.

"But Winter...I need you..."

"Weiss tries so hard to impress her sister!" said Ruby. "But rarely does Winter ever make time to see Weiss! Weiss needs a sister-like figure in her life, and I can give it to her!"

"You probably think this is too mushy," said Weiss, "but it's true. I wish I was able to spend more time with my sister."

"Actually," said Ragna, "I can sort of relate to that."

"You can?"

"I've got a little sister myself. One who's depending on me to save her."

"You mean Noel?"

"No, not her. Noel's actually a...never mind, I don't have all day to explain. Point is, I know that yearning for an older sibling to take care of you and to help guide you in life. I'm sure your sister would love to see you more often, and hey, at least you don't have a younger brother who is a complete jackass."

"I actually do have a younger brother, and sadly he's just a spineless backstabber."

"At least yours didn't cut off your arm and is obsessed with killing you."

"Good point."

"If I had actual eyes I'd be bawling right now!" cried the Islander. "Such heartfelt passion! Such feels! A point to Ruby!"

"Wait a minute!" said Jin. "I haven't even shown my second-place entrant yet! Mine is-"

"Let me guess," said Ragna. "It's about how much I deserve to be tortured by you?"

"...yes."

"I'm pretty sure we all get it at this point," said Weiss. "You love hate Ragna. Can we get to the finale and be done with this now?"

"But you haven't heard my justifications as to why he needs to be tortured!" said Jin. "I will not have you skipping my turn because you fell for some sappy family drama!"

"Fine, Jin!" said the Islander, sounding as annoyed as everyone else. "Let's all see your second-place entry."

Ragna, Weiss, and Ruby moaned as they were forced to sit through Jin's entry.

* * *

_One pointless entry later_

* * *

"And that is why this island is required to torture my brother!" said Jin.

Ragna and Ruby looked half-asleep from Jin's speech, while Weiss was web browsing on her scroll.

"AHEM!" said Jin, jolting everyone awake.

"What?" asked Ragna.

"So? What did you think of my reasons, brother?"

"Uh...very detailed, can easily picture it all in my head...and..."

"You didn't listen to a single one, did you?!"

"Yeah, I stopped paying attention like ten minutes ago."

"That's yet another reason why I need this island to kill you over and over!"

"If you're done boring everyone to death Jin," said the Islander, "can I officially give the point to Ruby now?"

"But my entry was far more detailed than-"

"Enough stalling!" exclaimed Ruby. "I think you're just scared that my first-place entry is sure to triumph whatever you can possibly come up with!"

"Scared? SCARED?!" Jin grabbed Ruby by her front collar and pulled her close to his face. "Jin Kisaragi isn't scared of some whiny cosplay reject!"

"Tough talk from the psycho who always gets his butt kicked by his brother!"

"All right, no more holding back!" said Jin, letting go of Ruby. "Let us unleash our first-place entries!"

"And unleash it I shall!" said Ruby, holding out her arm in dramatic fashion. "BEHOLD! My ultimate Reason to Love Weiss!"

Another Weiss appeared on the island, this one holding her arms tight as she solemnly looked on the ground, almost on the verge of tears.

"I have all the wealth and opportunities in the world," said Weiss, "and yet what I don't have is friends. I'm surrounded by so many people and yet I feel so alone. People who claim to care about me only care about what they can get out of me."

'Weiss' held her hands to her eyes to prevent the tears from pouring out.

"I'm...so...alone..."

"Underneath Weiss' cold exterior is a girl dying for a close friend!" said Ruby. "One who will like her for her personality and not her name and wealth! That is why I want this island solely to show the world all the great things about her! For Weiss Schnee is...MY BESTIE!"

"No," replied the real Weiss. "You can dedicate an entire planet to me and we still wouldn't be besties."

"I know you don't really mean that!" said Ruby, smiling wide.

"Sometimes I wonder if you're delusional or just overly optimistic."

"Enough of this saccharine friendship crap!" yelled Ragna. "What did I do to deserve listening to this sugary bullshit?!"

"Excuse me?" replied Weiss.

"I didn't say that," said Ragna, pointing to his right at a second Ragna now on the island, looking pissed at having to hear Ruby constantly talk about Weiss.

"Are we seriously going to let this island be used to praise you, ice queen?" said the second Ragna. "You're just a whiny, spoiled brat with daddy issues who thinks she knows how to fight but gets flattened in every battle! Not that you need help getting flat."

"Hey!" said Ruby. "Don't talk about my bestie like that!"

"And then there's you, the high-pitched annoying bitch who will just not shut the hell up about weapons!"

"So I like weapons! What's so wrong about that?"

"As if the two of you weren't bad enough, you have an emo teammate you barely talk to, and you have a sister who serves as jailbait fan service!"

"Quit ragging on my entire team!" yelled Ruby, getting upset by Ragna's trash talk.

"Get a hold of yourself, Ruby!" said Weiss. "He wants you to get upset!"

"Okay," said Ragna. "I'll just rag on the rest of your friends. The ones who weren't even relevant enough to show up in the Keystone Tournament!"

"Stop...bashing...my friends," muttered Ruby, clenching her fists and teeth tightly.

"Or what? You'll cry and run off to mommy?"

"Her mother is deceased, you jerk!" said Weiss.

"Lucky! She won't have to worry about her ears bleeding from hearing Little Red Riding Hood speak!"

"THAT'S IT!" yelled Ruby.

"Ruby, no!" yelled Weiss.

Ruby broke out her Crescent Rose and used her semblance to quickly approach Ragna and cut him down, causing the Ragna thought up by Jin to explode on sight.

"HA!" said Ruby. "How do you like that you glorified edgelord?!"

"Ruby, you dolt!" said Weiss. "You fell for his trap!"

"Huh?"

"You committed violence on the island! You broke your own rules!"

"Did you see that?" asked Jin. "How can you call her the rightful owner of this island when she doesn't abide by her own rules?"

"Wait a second!" said Ruby. "As owner of this island, I hereby decree that violence against anyone bad mouthing my friends and I is acceptable!"

"Sorry Ruby," said the Islander, "but for breaking your own rule and proving Jin's point, I hereby declare Jin the winner of the Rankings Battle and true owner of this island!"

"YES!" said Jin. "Brotherly Paradise is mine once again!"

"Oh well," said Ragna. "Bestie Paradise was fun while it lasted. Sorry, little red."

"NO!" yelled Ruby, holding up her Crescent Rose. "I will not let Bestie Paradise be ruled by this stuck-up jerk with an incest complex!"

Before Jin can pull out his weapon, Ruby launched herself towards Jin and cut him in half with her Crescent Rose.

"Is that all you got?" said another Jin that appeared. "For a weapons fanatic, your swings are pathetic!"

"SHUT UP!" screamed Ruby, swinging her scythe and destroying the second Jin.

"You're just proving my brother's point, dumbass!" said Ragna.

"How about you see the point of THIS?!" said Ruby, driving the point of her scythe into Ragna, causing him to explode.

"Grow up, you little brat!" said another Ragna.

As Ruby was taking down every thought-up incarnation of Jin and Ragna, the real Jin and Ragna along with Weiss watched from a distance as Ruby kept trying to kill everyone insulting her in a blind rage.

"Do you have to keep antagonizing her like this?" said Ragna. "It's really kind of sad."

"Actually, this is quite entertaining!" said Jin. "I get to kill my brother and torture this girl at the same time!"

"Knowing Ruby," said Weiss, "she can do this nearly forever."

"And you're not going to try and stop her?" asked Ragna.

"I'm sure she'll tire herself out...hopefully...maybe."

_And so, by giving in to her urge to harm anyone who insulted her friends, Ruby had cursed herself into fighting all the doubters and haters for eternity. The island once known as "Brotherly Paradise" and "Bestie Paradise" now became known as "Haters Paradise."_


End file.
